haveny blogged last weekend lots going on , im sick , parents been arguing , thinking about my future, chores,school, modeling/acting stuff going on ahhhh give me a break lol , the this weekend im gonna have to take photo's at my dads 33rd birthday party which im totally stoked for iI just ....idk need someone to talk to .... perferably someone who cares...<3

idk whats going on , the night was going so good , now everything thing is all jumbled up in my head , my heart feels like its in the bottomless pits of my stomach....could it be that im up at1:33a.m. , could it be that iI need water,  could it be that im thinkin to much about the future or could it be that the two people that iI love are going at it again , no. I know what it is its all of that and some, going through my mind at once I seriously feel that iI hva, too much stress on me as a teen and that iI need someone to talk to about it ....but who ,my "friends" listen for like the first 10sec and just be like "aw... omg iI have to tell you something about this guy " ...& iI could go to my parents but well, iI dont want to stress them out and make them think im one of those seriously depressed kids............wait am I ?! have iI become just that !? idk this is what staying up does for me ...gets my mind going...sorry for all the typo's ....
-make love not war night <3

why do we love if all it is , is a battlefeild. 

and why cant there just be peace  or would there be a "peace" with out war..? 

it feels way better when a gay guy calls you beautiful , then when a straight guy calls you beautifull <3

well , the banquett wasnt that bad ,boring but not that bad....turns out everyone was nice to me  and found out that im  gonna wait till im  married to have .... ya know SEX , its going  to be tough but  waiting seems like the best option right now ...all these teens getting prego ! and all these STD's and junk....anyhow ,  iI can not wait till tuesday so iI can see sareth, the guy iI have the biggest crush on ...he's asian (; yes , asian!  idk if he like's me .. but iI think he does  because on the first day of school , we both walked together to find our p.e. class ...yep yep he's in my  gym class of all classes ..he  gets to see me get all sweaty and stinky ...unfortunatly ....but yeah so we were walking together and he was soo nice and stuff ! then like two weeks ago we were all playing vollyball , and no one would let me surve the ball , so then he cought the ball and came up to me and was like "do you want the ball " in my head iI was like screaming !! and soo excited ! but on the outside iI was smiling and was like "sure" (: all calm and collected, ugh iI just wanna tell him how iI feel ...lol im wayyy to shy to even say hi to him ..any advice ??:)

so instead of going to the flee market with the rest of my family and getting my hair done , iI have to go to this banquett  thingy wiyj my aunt peggy,...well she's more like a grandma ,  but iI wont get in to that ,my point is I dont want to go spend time with a bunch of church teens iI dont know that much and probably dont like me because of how iI talk , look, act, walk ....iI just want to spend time with my family ...wish me luck.
-make love not war. <3

okay so iI was thinking iI might make this blog into where iI could express my feelings and if anyone has a problem or needs advice or want to give advice they could just comment on the post ya know how jenna halmiton from awkward does hers ....? well yeah like her ... so im starting this tomorrow
k bye (: -make love not war <3